It’s completely unstable, irresponsible, hard-out strange, that you should let him cut his pubic hair in the shower, particularly in this state.
The drain is fully clogged, grime spilling through my legs on its way to find an exit. I remember when we used to shower together; the drain was never clogged and you lathered my back with an unprecedented finesse. But here I am, on acid, trimming my junk with my flatmate’s scissors in preparation for a new body. I wonder if she’ll intuitively know where to touch, or will I have to teach her? Never been much good at teaching. I imagine it's a lack of patience, or empathy for stupidity, or something. Something with a name. Tried to teach Tim how to roll a note last night. I gave up when we starting speeding too fast and had to slow down for the cars. I must be careful not to cut myself.
When did I become aware of my breathing? Wait. You can’t actually just become aware of something that is happening all the time, I mean, that’s like saying you didn’t know grapes grow on trees, or goats eat cicadas. I wonder if it will be this heavy when I go over to her house? If I stay the night, I am bound to snore. The anxiety is unbearable it’s enough to make anyone lose their train of thought.
I lost it. Lance Armstrong, freedom fighting, wolves, Gaza strip. Arghhh, Gaza stip. Wonder if this new one has one of those? She’s an odd girl, and Mediterranean, I think. Not that I am ignorant to the fact that the Gaza strip is not in the Mediterranean. I am not stupid. Neither is she by all accounts. Mumbled something about writing a thesis on numbers, or rain, or hard-lined ukulele unions. She's a bit nerdy, don't think she'll have a strip. So why I am bothering to...
Holy shit, you have to get out of this shower, get a packet of cigarettes and hope one of them triggers a bowel movement in you. You certainly don’t want to go over to her house fully loaded. No way. Pull yourself together. Right. Can’t handle this shit anymore. I am turning off the tap. Not before you soap. Right, the soap.
The blue Radox shower gel disappears into white foam. How?
