Wednesday, April 11, 2012

Celebrity Head.

“Dildos with Ryan Gosling’s face on them.”

“On the end? I mean, I don’t have a vagina… but do chicks really want someone’s face inside them?”


“Why don’t they make Ryan Gosling tampons instead? Less intrusive. Or maybe even Ryan Gosling pillows? For the lonely.”

“Tampons!? You don’t want to bleed on him. Besides, there wouldn’t be enough room for the detail of his face. And I reckon pillows is a shit idea. No one would be that obsessed with him.”

“Really? Dude, we’ve been going out three years and you’ve never been more rowdy in the sack than after you saw that Tumblr with him on it.”

“Huh? Which one…? No….”

“The one where he’s looking at things, or riding dogs or something.”

“You mean, Ryan Gosling With Cats?”

“Yeh. Maybe when the dildo range takes off you could start one titled Ryan Gosling With Pussy.”

“You’re not funny. And you’ve got a booger hanging from your nose. Here, let me get it.”

She got it.

“You know another thing… I’m getting sick of people saying Hey, Girl. That’s his sort of catch phrase, isn’t it?”

“You’re a genius, Coleman. Hey, Girl could be the name for the dildo range.”

“The weird looking bald dude who plays for Carlton could have his own range too. Chicks think he’s hot, right?”

“You know less about women than you do football.”

“But because he’s bald, it would… you know, be better on a dildo and that…”